Remember that it was God's doing that you couldn't leave your current roommates on an angry note. That he gave you true sorrow bout not being able to room with them again. Though your relationship with them were going through much turbulence.- Remember that hardship has to come, for the healing to come produce Joy. Because when your sin isn't revealed and you don't see how much of a terrible person you really are- you will always go on thinking you're not so bad- not so much in need of Grace. None of your roommates would, neither would you have seen the true colors of your hearts. None of you would have seen the need for Someone to show you Grace.
Remember when you start questioning why in the world you ended up living with someone else- That it was God who brought a bittersweet ending between your prior roommates. That it was God's doing the day you went on the last search for an apartment and couldn't find anything for the three of you guys. That God sovereignly opened the doors for you to have the privilege of living with someone else you deeply cared about. That it was not out of mere coincidence but he affirmed this to you. That there is a reason for everything. Remember how he overwhelmed your heart of what hardships were to come and how you received the coming of these things from afar with much joy. Because he showed you the places you in your own heart that were going to be stripped and healed through living with someone else.
Remember that "it's just the dark before the morning" so " press on and just fight the good fight". Remember that "life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time but you'll see the bigger picture." Remember Sam that God is the one who created you, who upholds the universe by the word of his power, and that he created the ages through his Son, Jesus Christ. (Hebrews 1:2) Remember how much hurt you have been through in the past, but how the remembrance of that pain doesn't last as much as the weight of glory. Remember how you felt when you recited, "God is good, all the time."- "All the time, God is good." Remember how you knew, that God is truly good.
Remember God always pulls through- because you believe in a Hope that doesn't put you to shame. (Romans 5:5) Remember when you complain when things aren't going your way or planned or expected- that his ways are higher than your ways, his thoughts are higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
So Sam, remember when it seems like nothing is going right. When life seems to look like it has reached a dead end, and you would rather fantasize of death than pushing through.. Remember that it's not bout you.
"Sit here, while I go over there and pray." And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me." And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."
Remember that someone died for you, not because you were worthy of his life to be ended to save yours. But someone cared enough bout you to take the blow you were supposed to take. Remember that you never deserved to be shown mercy, because you chose to walk away from the one who loved you most. Broken-hearted, abandoned, stricken with the pain you should of gone through- He died to save yours. So Sam, turn back. Turn back and know his kindness was meant to lead you to repentance. (Romans 2:4)
Turn back and live knowing you have a Saviour who loves you, walking by your side. Turn back and remember that you deserve infinitely worse than what you are going through. That suffering should not come to you as a shock- because of the true state of your whoring heart. But recognize the darkness as a blessing. That God has chosen to care for you enough to discipline you as his own.
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
--------------------------Falling for the one who fell for me first.
Standing in the grace that I never deserved.
This must be love.
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